User blog:Mrs Chanandler Bong/Stupid Lyrics: Dammit Denmark! edition

Yeah, I have nothing against Denmark. But I do have something against this raging egomaniac.

​"7 Years"
​Soon I'll sixty years old

​Hello there, and welcome to Stupid Lyrics. Today I'll be talking about Lukas Graham's band Lukas Graham and their 2016 single from their follow-up album to Lukas Graham named Lukas Graham. These guys make silly songs about strippers I'm pretty sure.

​Why ain't you a stripper no more?

​Or something like that... but one of the biggest hits of 2016 was this atrocity, "7 Years".

So it starts off like a normal "sad" song, with dreary piano and lyrics that make sense, at least... until the first verse.

By eleven smoking herb and drinking burning liquor / Never rich so we were out to make that steady figure

Okay, Lukas, really? Were you really a Danish ghetto gangsta as a preteen, smoking legal marijuana and chugging down liquor? His Rap Genius annotations say so... damn it Lukas, I've never wanted to punch a popstar more. Also, I'm pretty sure you're eleven here so unless you're talking about your parents here, you were never out to make that "steady figure".

Once I was eleven years old my daddy told me / Go get yourself a wife or you'll be lonely

When I was eleven my daddy told me stop playing Pokemon. I really doubt Lukas is even married. "I now pronounce you douchebag and wife".

Something about that glory just always seemed to bore me

This is the first line of this song I hate. Out of many. The past few didn't make any sense, but this one is bullshit. You don't care about glory? Oh, yeah, is that why you put a crowd shouting your fucking band's name (and your name and your past two album's name) in the middle of your song that's presumably about your deceased father, and keep it in during live performances? You absolute prick.

Something about that glory just always seemed to bore me

I only see my goals, I don't believe in failure / 'Cause I know the smallest voices, they can make it major

So now you want to be famous?

Soon we'll be thirty years old, our songs have been sold

I thought it bored you, you dick.

Lukas Graham!

Fuck off.

Most of my boys are with me / Some are still out seeking glory / And some I had to leave behind / My brother I'm still sorry

Oh, so you went from not wanting glory and it boring you, which is fine, to leaving your brother behind for that same glory you shat on before and called boring.

This asshole thinks he can pretend that the song's about his deceased father when it's really a brag rap song but he's half-assedly singing it with a dreary piano in the background? Screw you, Graham. I expected much more from Denmark. And what I hate is that I like the last verse quite a bit (if it wasn't sung by this obnoxious clod).

Soon I'll be sixty years old, my daddy got sixty-one / Remember life and then your life becomes a better one / I made a man so happy when I wrote a letter once / I hope my children come and visit, once or twice a month

This verse is simply him remembering nice memories of his dad and actually stays true to that, and he is nostalgic about when he wrote a letter to his seemingly distant father, and he just hopes that when he's a dad, he can have children that visit him when they're fully-grown, unlike his dad. This is quite a nice. But what does "my daddy got sixty-one" mean? Seriously? What? This ranks up with "That matress that you stole from your roommate back in Bolder" for some of the stupidest and weird lyrics of this year. Geez.

But man, I can't rag on Denmark that much, but seriously get rid of this clod. Come on, Junior Sr, you're good Danish pop artists, I'm sure you can make another song to get him off the Danish charts at least... Please.

Everybody, move your feet and feel united (ohh)

But yeah, see ya next time on Stupid Lyrics where we'll be talking about a Canadian pop artist that has very mixed reception with pretty much any music critic ever.

​Let's go to the mall today

​Yeah it's Drake.

Higher powers taking a hold on me

STUPID LYRICS

"Move Your Feet" owned by Crunchy Frog

"7 Years" owned by some pretendious dick

"Let's Go to the Mall" owned by CBS