User blog:Mrs Chanandler Bong/Your STEVE has evolved into... KEVIN (LLAU 3.0 Episode Two)

Hey I'm back! Welcome to LLAU. Wait what's the intro to this show again--

Yesterday I asked you to create a new Pokémon! Here are your Game Freakiest answers. Thank you for reading LLAU! I have a question for--

​THE BEST OF LLAU 2
Oh hey it's the best of LLAU 2, which is two freaking months overdue. Let's go!

We're not just doing best of LLAU though, to celebrate Kitty "Week" welcome to the BEST OF BONG (best moments of 2016 so far since half of the year's nearly gone).

January

What type of drugs were we on when we thought Chat Court as a series was a good idea?


 * Hello from the fanon side
 * I must have commented 10 times
 * To tell you I'm sorry
 * For spamming your show


 * You've got a new article in a crappy style
 * A really crappy script and we'll never smile


 * I HEART KILTS

"I HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME AND HAVE LOADS OF MONEY AND I'M GONNA SPEND IT ON MYSELF AND I HAVE NO SENSE OF COMMITMENT... but I need love too! Help me find love! I'm in my 40s and made terrible decisions - one of them becoming a rapper - but I still haven't found love!"

Except Latino is a male Latin-American, so...
 * And that Latino and Asian Mommy make a grown man wanna do karate

Slang translator: I find a multi-racial and slightly overweight woman with long hair attractive.
 * I like a long-haired thick redbone

You don't know what that word means, do you? "Girrrrllll, I think you're a robot." Is that sexy to you robo-chicks out there?
 * I think you're bionic

If you could not figure out what he said, he's saying "let's be honest." That's how he says it in the song. You ruined it, Jimmy. You blew it. Don't even try. And evidently you're not gonna.
 * Are any of y'all into girls like I am?
 * LEZBEEHARRRNESSSZT
 * So you can never say I'm
 * CHOOOZEEEEHOOEEEEZZZ

Yeah, he kinda does. In fact, he says it in this song three times. In these three minutes, Lil' Wayne has filet mignon-ed, been on and on and owned that p---y.
 * And Wayne says
 * "P---y, p---y, p---y"

Really? "Yeah, but can you rap? Uhh, yeah I can dude. Listen to this epic freestyle: Knick-knack Shaq attack, give a dog a bone." It's so disappointing. Who are you trying to prove with that?
 * I'll hit you with the waaaa-psha-pshapsh
 * I dribble rhymes like basketball'ems
 * People call me ET (extratall'ems)
 * I'll punch her in the stomach, I don't give a heck
 * Yo, why'd you booger-hook her like that?
 * Cos she breathed on my neck
 * Yo, what about rhyming?
 * I can hold my own
 * Knick-knack, Shaq attack!
 * Give a dog a bone

My freeloading dog never says thank you when I provide her the food she needs and never gives me my money back for the stuff I give her. Should I kick her out? She's already 7 years old yet she can't drive. This is really troubling me and I need your help.

Why him and not EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THE JEREMY KYLE SHOW?

Great originality, guys.
 * You don't.
 * Well, mine is quite complex - don't.
 * Throwing your camera into the ocean and don't take a selfie.
 * Don't take a selfie because they're dumb as f--k.

Did you read... the question? The question...?
 * Mexico, ahoy!
 * Move to Canada.


 * Hey, remember that time she faked her own heart attack?

And since I've been on and off with activity since February, this is just gonna be the "other" section.

OTHER

Configuring update... LLAU will restart in five minutes.


 * Roses are red
 * VIOLENCE are red
 * Everything is red BECAUSE THE DAMN T-VIRUS WAS LEAKED


 * Krazy: [looking at the baby] Aww, it's so beautiful. Can I hold it?
 * Drillhead: Last time you held a kid, you dropped it and it went to hospital. But that kid was a brat so totally, yeah, you can hold it!


 * Rebel McCrookson: Hey, guys... It doesn't have a name. Maybe we could call it Rebel Sr.
 * Drillhead: I'm not going to name my kid after its father's best friend.
 * Rebel: Wait, I'm your best friend?
 * Drillhead: You know you are.
 * Krazy: You d--k, you told me I was your best friend!
 * Drillhead: (laughs) You can have more than one.
 * Krazy: You can?! S--t, I have to apologize to a lot of people. I'mma make some calls. [he leaves and gives the baby to Drillhead]
 * Drillhead: I think we should name it Crap-Bag.
 * Rebel: Aww, just like its grandfather!


 * Krazy: (in happy game show host voice) Hello there, I'm your host Krazy and welcome to...
 * Audience: YOU'VE! GOT! Bubblajack...abackattack... (murmuring)
 * Krazy: (whispering) 15 episodes and you still don't know the f-g name of the show. Okay...

The "beep guy" (as Ant & Dec called him) missed Adele swearing but muted the unoffensive words. You (BLEEP) a s--t (BLEEP), beep guy.

NOBODY is laughing at Ant & Dec. Not the online community or even the audience or even the bald guy with the beard from Coldplay with the stupidly high voice for a 40-year old man.

Lily Allen beefed with James Bay over his hat... this has nothing to do with the Brits but it's stupid. It's even funnier when other people say it.
 * Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow
 * To my mother, my dog and clowns

[http://www.964eagle.co.uk/news/world-news/1895717/three-killed-as-tornadoes-hit-us-deep-south/ Three killed as tornadoes hit US deep south... huh. ]

Coldplay sang:

That's not a joke.
 * I feel drunk AND high

Is this System of a Down or their mentally challenged brother?
 * Strange refigerators gaining independance!

They also have an obsession with...pie?
 * BUTTER'S GETTIN HARD! What a splendid pie! PIZZA PIZZA PIE!
 * BANANA! TERRACOTTA! TERRACOTTA PIEEEEE!


 * Bulletproof bizzop!

Yeaah... metal characters are bad but since there's Mario and Peach... how about... CRYSTAL METH LUIGI?

Miyamoto: Hey so I finally realised Honey Queen is worthless.

Fils-Aime: Freaking finally!

Miyamoto: But I came up with this great idea of what to replace her.

Iwata: (gasps) What is it? Chunky Kong? Dry Bones is back? Sonic is a third-party character? (gasps) R.O.B. is back? PLEASE TELL ME R.O.B. IS BACK SHIGERU!

Miyamoto: No, it's even better. Pink. Gold. Peach.

Fils-Aime: Heh?

Miyamoto: We like Peach. We like gold. We like pink. They will work so well together.

Fils-Aime: I don't like pink.

Miyamoto: Well, you don't get that choice, do you Reg, okay? OKAY! (chuckles) Anyway, so yeah, guys, Pink Gold Peach is on the table and Honey Queen is off the planet. (leaves)

Iwata: Pink Gold Peach?

Fils-Aime: (shouting to the door) I KNEW YOU'D BE MY DEATH, SHIGERU MIYAMOTO! All the fans are gonna kill us!

Miyamoto: (flips the bird to both of them while holding sketch of Pink Gold Peach and walking to another room) (comes back) The other guys loved it.

Fils-Aime: "The other guys" are still on those drugs you gave them to convince them Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival was a good idea.