User blog:EliNinja/The Man-Eating Pig (2014)

Just a story I told on chat last March. Tweaked a bit, but still readable :)

DA STAWRY
Mike: So, you making a pig pie?

Jack: Yes I am, my brotha'.

Mike: I heard you can get eaten by a pig if you make one, so watch out.

Jack: Sure, and I'm Michael Jordan from MARS, BLEUGH.

Mike: Really?

Jack: I was being sarcastic, you twit. Now eat my masterpiece food while I take a walk.

Mike: Oooo....kaaaaay...

Jack: Make sure you eat it, Mike!

(Jack walks outside)

Jack: hm, guess it's dark already.

(Jack continues to walk)

Jack: (hums) walking outside in the night, wit my COOL SHOES!

(some pig aggressively attacks Jack)

Jack: Ow! OWWW! AUUUUHHH!!!!

(the pig, eats his skin and flesh off)

Jack: Why must you eat me, pig?

Pig: becuz

Pig: ur making peg pyz!

Jack: Holy shitballs...............MIKE WAS RI-

(pig eats Jack and coughs out his bloody remains)

(mAAAAAAwnIIIIIIIIIIng)

(Mike walks outside

Mike: Jeez, it's been awfully long sin(GASP)

(he looks at the pig who brings Jack's remains into the house)

Mike: Um....uh...

(Mike pats the pigs head)

Mike: Nice little Jack-eating pi-

(the pig eats every part of Mike's body)

(the pig coughs out some of Mike's remains next to Jack's)

Jane: Hey Mike, ready for our da-(GASP)

(the pig stares into Jane's soul)

(Jane dies and falls to the ground)

Pig: U fcukin' juts got OIKNED!

(The pig rubs his face againts Jane's big boobs)

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! QUESTION MARK!!!!!