SpongeBob SquarePants Reborn

"Meow" ~ Gary on SpongeBob SquarePants Reborn

SpongeBob SquarePants Reborn is an animated children's television series about the everyday life of various undersea creatures which, for some reason, includes a squirrel. The show has sparked much SpongeBob-themed merchandise, including everything from boxer shorts to toilet paper. It is currently the 24th most popular show on Nick5, which isn't saying much.

Characters
SpongeBob SquarePants is a 23-year-old anthropomorphic sea sponge with the mind capacity of a five-year-old. He currently resides in a pineapple with his snail, Gary. Despite being a piece of fruit, his house is not the strangest place of residence on the block.

Is SpongeBob a Genuine Sponge?
Since SpongeBob does not look exactly like a sea sponge, some speculate he is really a piece of cubed cheese posing as an animate object. However, SpongeBob's relatively squishy body and wavy outline lead to the conclusion that he is really a kitchen sponge posing as a sea sponge by living at the bottom of the ocean. This would, however, pose the question of why he hasn't absorbed any sea water, given the absorbing quality of kitchen sponges. The answer is simple. It's a cartoon.

Are SpongeBob's Pants Actually Square?
Although SpongeBob's last name is SquarePants, some mathematicians claim that his pants are not really square but are more rectangular. A study of SpongeBob's pants began, and upon closer examination, it was revealed that $$4s$$ was not equal to $$2l+2w$$, with $$s$$ representing "side," $$l$$ representing "length," and $$w$$ representing "width." However, in a square, $$l+w=2s$$. Basically, Spongebob's pants do not have four equal sides, a necessary component of a square. Thus, some might speculate that his pants are a rectangle. However, this is not the case either. Since his pants contain lines on the x, y, and z axis, his pants are three-dimensional, and therefore, a rectangular prism.

Patrick Star
Patrick Star is SpongeBob's best (and only) friend. Although he is often depicted as dimwitted, fat, lazy, ignorant, and unemployed, he is not an American, which is indeed astonishing. Instead, he claims to be a starfish. Yet, while starfish are shaped like stars and have multiple miniature "feet" on their underside, Patrick tends to resemble more of a lopsided triangle with a pair of limbs. Furthermore, he wears horribly ill-fitting pants and has a belly button, further enforcing the notion that he is a human with the intelligence of a starfish and possesses no other qualities of an underwater creature.

Squidward Tentacles
Squidward Tentacles is SpongeBob's next-door neighbor, and, despite being named Squidward, is actually an octopus according to creator Stephen Hillenburg. He plays the clarinet at a fourth grade level and is currently the second chair in his orchestra class. However, there are only two clarinet players in the orchestra, and the other one is Used Napkin. Although Squidward is often criticized for not wearing pants, nobody seems to care when Plankton frolics in the nude, and Sandy wanders around in purple undies. He forces himself to get up in the morning and puts on a shirt (but no pants), and occasionally cusses out the customers at the Krusty Krab.

Controversy and Criticism
During much of the show, the characters talk to each other in the same way that humans would: By speaking English. However, some parents accused this of being unrealistic and inaccurate. Since much of the show is set in Bikini Bottom, which is a name used by the show's creators to signify the lagoon beneath Bikini Atoll in the Marshall Islands, the characters should really be speaking in Marshallese, the official language of the Marshall Islands, not English. For example, one of SpongeBob's catchphrases is "I'm ready! I'm ready!" Realistically, he would have said, "Ña ewōr pojak! Ña ewōr pojak!" which is the correct Marshallese translation. Likewise, common phrases such as "My leg!" and "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" should really be "Aō ne!" and "Wōn mour i peinabōl iuṃwi-lọjet?" respectively, and Gary's classic "meow" would become "Fenōji-umfa-ñoojay-leefee-uhmhat-zhaggọt-phutta-gung."