User blog:Mrs Chanandler Bong/THE BEST OF BONG: A Year-Long Retrospective (Part 1)

Hello and welcome to YIAY, crap I mean LLAU, the show that's... basically YIAY.

I'm Mrs. Chanandler Bong and over the year and a bit, we've done some hilarious LLAUs. And all I have to thank is you guys.

I have a question for you: Most of you write stories and episodes or stuff like that, so what's your personal favourite line in any of your stories or scripts? I'll share mine in that episode as well.

Of course it wouldn't be a season premiere or finale without a compilation so here is:

THE BEST OF BONG 2016

(Part one - part two's tomorrow, part three's next Saturday and part four's next Sunday)

You should sing this to your girl every Valentine's Day. She'll find it so romantic and seductive. She'll love you... and you'll totally score.
 * Your eyes are beautiful
 * Everytime I see them I see happiness...
 * sleepin' in your corneas
 * You know that I want more
 * Your lips so soft to touch
 * Ruby red contrasting your pearl white teeth
 * You even look great in the rain and the storm, umbrellas covered with leaves
 * You don't need make-up
 * In fact it'd be pretty strange to see you with make-up...
 * Girl: Wait, what?
 * Man: (eyes closed while singing) Sssssshhh. (puts finger on girl's lips) Just enjoy.
 * Wonderful hair on your head, on your chest...
 * Girl: On my chest?
 * Man: Oh, shoot, what a bother
 * I'm gay, this was for your brother

Dani eventually ends up actually kissing Krazy on the "date". Krazy is like "wtf?" so he tries not to do anything about it because she was probably joking as well, but eventually they start dating in season 4 and at the 13th episode, they get married and they truly love each other... or do they? After a few days (like a week, but they stay at the hotel of the wedding all week) of married life, they decide to finally go on their honeymoon. Before they get to go there, a person who works at the Honeymoon Hotels Airport stops them and says they're not legally married and instead, Dani is married to Krop. Krazy lets this slide as a mistake, but Dani eventually reveals she doesn't love Krazy, she loves Krop and that she is a lesbian, and married him because it was the closest she could get after her death in season 3. Krazy, after a big argument, compromises with Dani and says that since they're married and have dated for a year, they must truly love each-other, and she must not be attracted with Krop as much as she thought. They don't go on their honeymoon and instead stay in Suklonia for Valentine's Day. The series ends with Krazy and Dani kissing in a Suklonian rainforest.

"Oh shit that's dank and sad" -- Hat

Drillhead's illegitimate son becomes an old man in like a year? Squid alien's human wife? Suddenly a lesbian, loves husband's sister? A gangsta voiced by Snoop Dogg getting a spiritual guide to get into Heaven when he dies by a genocidal horse, a doctor with a silly name who makes humans robots, an armed raccoon's father and an old man baby? Not so dark and sad when you put it in these words.

I think it would be funny to have an ironic death, so I'll say I have a heart attack, and paramedics hook me up to a life giving machine, which breaks in the middle of CPR, ultimately causing death.

Get a better doctor, Stuff.

Krazy: Well, I remember seeing something that I think you will want to know.

Bagel: What did you do now, you juicy watermelon?

Krazy: Well, my savoury friend, it said if we go into that machine, eventually we will turn genderless.

Stacy: When?

Krazy: Two years.

Eli: Hey, remember when we went into that gender-flip machine? God! How long ago was that, like, two years?

Krazy: Yeeeaaaah.

Stacy: You little ass-pinch.

Bagel: How are we gonna make babies now? Save my bagel kind, Krazy!

Krazy: Everyone's saving your bagel kind, they're on offer!

Bagel: (gasps) You monster.

Stacy: What if you die before us and your gender-flipper-kajigger is in your pocket and in your grave?

Krazy: I'm a Suklon, Stace. If I die, I come back to life as a piece of coral.

Hey, I'm Hunk Hunkleson and welcome to the WWFF - World Wrestling Fiction Foundry. Here we have our three most awesome fighters! They'll kick butts and chew gum... and they're all out of butts. Shoot did I do that wrong

Here we have Chaossy, the Chaos Causer, also known as: SHINSUKEKE! This monster's finishing move is DDT... on the top of Hell in the Cell! Do you not know what a DDT is? Are you living under a wrestling rock 'cuz THIS is a DDT!

Oh wait no it's not

 Æ 

I don't know how to pronounce that. Already off to a shaky start.

''[C: Alright! Let's go!''

They're the Fanonverse Heroes

''Beating! Bad dudes!''

The villains' defeat will be soon.]

Professor Zing-Whatt

Roger, Romen, Ross...

and rock.

Hey, Rei, yo it's Randit

Selena and Saint from the Territory of the Bandit

Ted Captum, Tammy the Cat-tum

Tonchoooo (and Ultra Violet)

Tonchoooo (Victor'll be violent)

Wombooo (W3 Source)

Warioooo (it's the Heroes of the Fanonverse)

(whoa) W-Guy and Web.

''It's the last hero. ''Who? Xen.

''Upload videos about me walking around, then it quickly becomes more eerie and chaotic with every video. ''

Do it. Come on I know you have a channel. GET HUNKED

You haven't caught up with the news? Well GET HUNKED and get with the times! Cos this is NEW NEWS, where you'll get all the newest news that you probably don't care about! Here's some highlights, yo!

''Shulk. That sexy Shulk.''

Okay Chaos next time don't reveal your sexual fantasies about Xenoblade Chronicles.

Weedsly that sexy Shulk.

Flip man, I got you two covered.

[1] Shoot wrong guy

Eli: Hey, what's the time, Stace?

Stace: Can you not tell the time yourself?

Eli: No, it's just we don't have a clock or any time-telling device. We only have a few grey chairs and a grey couch that, what a surprise, does not contrast the grey background with one small window and then a brown desk and a white fridge and sink.

Stoned Guy: Gay pride, man!

DJ: Yeah, what the crack guy said.

Bagel: You seemed pretty offended by that, Krazy. Is there something wrong with me? Is my bread not crusty enough? Do I have to be salty? Cos I can be salty Goddamn it, I can be salty!

Krazy: One ridiculous problem at a time, you savoury creep.

Bagel: Freakin' disgusting. Damn shoppers selling my kind. (facing the tills) I will save my kind from your manhunting... and your...

Krazy: Their... selling of food?

Bagel: No, Krazy! Their selling of life.

Bagel: Stop looking at squid juice! God, you suck.

Krazy: ...lon.

Bagel: Son of a...! This is not the time for puns, you moron. My kind is being destroyed.

''[Dude stands up and looks in the fridge. There's only a watermelon and full-fat squid juice.]''

Dude: (sighs deeply and pauses) We should get some food.

Krazy: Hey, are you using his... big... uh... bigness... to largen yourself so you won't have... uh... smallness?

Hagel: (booming voice) You fool, have you ever read a thesaurus? Don't even open your mouth. I refuse to hear the drivel that will be sprayed.

Krazy: Hey,... (stutters)

Hagel: (foresees his speech) It's not a dinosaur, you imbecile! You ignoramus!

[Hagel slaps Krazy out of the way then faces Bagel who is now Hagel's former size.]

Hagel: YOU!... You... are my main target. My main desire. You don't deserve to have that hat. And that cane.

[He slowly takes off all the body parts he mentions after he takes off the hat and cane.]

Hagel: Those legs! Those arms! A schlemiel like you does not deserve limbs! You only deserve to be eaten. The eyes can stay. I want you to see your consumption.

''[Close-up to Hagel's eyes. You don't see anything but his red, glaring eyes.]''

Hagel: Your death.

​

​​Shameless Gender-Flipped: Genderless promotion returns!

Check out the most recent episode here!

''[Nyan from the Gender-Flipped Gang Got Their Genders Back Universe is trapped in the purple void of the Spirit Realm. It looks kinda like the Null Void. Everybody there is like a hologram, and they all flash every few seconds. Unnamed dead people, Steller and Hagel appear.]''

Nyan: Are you... that bagel person?

Hagel: Which one?

Nyan: The one that doesn't have a cane.

[Hagel picks up a cane that looks like a breadstick.]

Hagel: We all have canes.

[Nyan looks annoyed.]

Nyan: You're the one who didn't have the hat, if I remember correctly.

[A fedora suddenly appears and Hagel tips it.]

Hagel: M'dead lady.