User blog:Mrs Chanandler Bong/METAL MARIO vs. BABY MARIO: The Battle of the Clones

Some clones of Mario are alright. I can deal with Cosmic Clones and Dr. Mario cos they are different in gameplay. These clones aren't.

Okay, let's talk about metal and baby characters in Mario. Mario is a fun game series, however there are some bad choices and unoriginal characters being made recently. First let's talk about babies. I messed up in this section because Baby Mario & Luigi were introduced in Yoshi's Island (SNES) but that was the Yoshi series and I'm talking about Mario so I get a pass and also he looked and acted completely different so it might be a different baby Mario altogether. Yoshi's Island DS is also where Baby Peach had an important role but still, Yoshi series. That also means I am not gonna talk about Baby Bowser, Baby Wario or Baby DK. ==​Baby Characters (Baby Mario & Luigi Debut: Super Mario World 2 - Yoshi's Island, 1995) (Baby Peach Debut: Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time, 2005) (Baby Daisy Debut: Mario Kart Wii, 2008) (Baby Rosalina Debut: Mario Kart 8, 2014)== Baby Mario & Luigi were introduced in Mario Kart: Double Dash!! (GCN). I was fine with this I guess. Baby Mario was made for MKDD and I was fine with that. Baby Luigi was there because Baby Mario needed a partner for the game. That's alright, especially since in the game Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time (DS), they were confirmed as canon characters. For Mario Kart Wii (Wii), they returned along with Baby Peach and that was just on the edge of being unoriginal. Maybe they were gonna make a scrapped Baby Mario Bros. game where they saved a Baby Peach and just used her model to fill in a character slot? I dunno. Baby Daisy was there too... ugh. Daisy isn't even a good or interesting character, why do we need her to have a kid? What weird DeviantArt LuigixDaisy fanfiction did Miyamoto look at while making this game? Then it got worse. In Mario Kart 8 (Wii U), after Mario Kart 7 (3DS) was fine except Honey Queen took Waluigi's slot, Baby Rosalina was added. She did not exist and had no point in being there. It's a baby version of Rosalina, who isn't even that important. Rosalina is cool and all... but I don't want her to breed with Lubba from Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii) and make some weird baby.

In the next section I did not talk about Metal Luigi or Metal Bowser because nobody gives a single Goomba about them.

Metal Characters (Metal Mario Debut: Super Mario 64, 1996) (Pink Gold Peach Debut: Mario Kart 8, 2014)
Metal characters are worse than babies. They are power-ups turned into characters. In Super Mario 64 (N64), the Metal Cap made Mario into Metal Mario, which was cool. He was a bit heavier and could walk underwater. In Super Smash Bros. (N64) this was a boss and also what happened when Mario got a Metal Box. Metal Peach appeared in Melee (GCN), Brawl (Wii), and 4 (Wii U/3DS). Metal Mario appeared on its own as a character in Mario Golf and Mario Sports games but I don't care, they're golfing games. So in Mario Kart 7, he was added as a character. That was... a bad idea. It's basically Mario with a metal coating and now it's a heavyweight. Greeeaaaaat... I was happy when it was announced as a character in the next game because I thought they could use this as DLC kinda like Tanooki Mario or a palette swap, which would be introduced in this game. But then came... Pink Gold Peach. Really? A rose-gold version of Peach? You really ran out of ideas didn't you? Is this what happened in the Nintendo meeting?

HOW PINK GOLD PEACH WAS MADE
Miyamoto: Hey so I finally realised Honey Queen is worthless.

Fils-Aime: Freaking finally!

Miyamoto: But I came up with this great idea of what to replace her.

Iwata: (gasps) What is it? Chunky Kong? Dry Bones is back? Sonic is a third-party character? (gasps) R.O.B. is back? PLEASE TELL ME R.O.B. IS BACK SHIGERU!

Miyamoto: No, it's even better. ''Pink. Gold. Peach.''

Fils-Aime: Heh?

Miyamoto: We like Peach. We like gold. We like pink. They will work so well together.

Fils-Aime: I don't like pink.

Miyamoto:''' Well, you don't get that choice, do you Reg, okay? OKAY! (chuckles) Anyway, so yeah, guys, Pink Gold Peach is on the table and Honey Queen is off''' the planet. (leaves)

Iwata: Pink Gold Peach?

Fils-Aime: (shouting to the door) I KNEW YOU'D BE MY DEATH, SHIGERU MIYAMOTO! All the fans are gonna kill us!

Miyamoto: (flips the bird to both of them while holding sketch of Pink Gold Peach and walking to another room) (comes back) The other guys loved it.

Fils-Aime: "The other guys" are still on those drugs you gave them to convince them Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival was a good idea.

YOU KISSED MY BEST ROSS! Or something to that effect. (talk) 21:55, March 24, 2016 (UTC)

So that's that. Thank you for reading and LLAU will be back next month!

Yeaah... metal characters are bad but since there's Mario and Peach... how about...  CRYSTAL METH LUIGI?