User blog:SuperSaiyanKirby/"Worth the Weight": A Half-Life Creepypasta

Author's note
Now, none of you guys would be interested into Half-Life or any other Valve games (except for Portal), but yesterday I remembered the creepypastas everybody, and I mean, EVERYBODY were writing in August, and I didn't want to write one because, well, I really am not a fan of scary things. I know. I am a wimp. Don't blame one man for being scared of little creepy stories.

Yesterday, I took a view at the creepypastas the users wrote, and I became less afraid of these "creepypastas". I began brainstorming about a "Half-Life creepypasta", as one gamer will discover that Half-Life 2: Episode Three might not be worth the weight.

Anyways, enjoy!

~SuperSaiyanKirby

Pasta
I have been a long time fan of Valve's video games. If there was one game I love, it would be Half-Life. Half-Life is about a scientist named Gordon Freeman who accidentally releases a portal of aliens. At the end of the first Half-Life, Gordon began working for the G-Man.

Valve later released Half-Life 2, along with two "episodes". Episode Two ended in a cliffhanger, as fans were anticipated for the release of Half-Life 2: Episode Three. Unfortunately, Valve has yet to release the conclusion to Half-Life 2, and after many easter eggs and teasers, Valve has not released the game. Or that's what I.... thought.

Last week, I got an e-mail from my friend who was a worker at Valve. Apparently, he found a copy of Episode Three, and he said in his e-mail that "he spent countless hours figuring out what was going on." I was a bit confused about what he was talking about, but I found a code in the e-mail, so I had to copy the code to my Steam, and after a few minutes of installation, the game was installed.

I went to my desktop, and I noticed something strange. The icon of the game did not have the "Lambda Core" the past games had. Instead, it had a strange icon with a bloody crowbar, as the crowbar is Gordon's trademark weapon, and a Headcrab. I wondered why Valve used this instead. That thought passed by quickly. I also took note that the name of the game was not "Half-Life 2: Episode Three". It instead said, "ep3.exe". I decided to finally launch the game, and after a few seconds of waiting, the game launched.

For some strange reason, the Valve opening logo did not appear. I decided that it was a bug since a game always have bugs. I thought that the game's main menu would show the ruins of the Borealis, but instead, was a bloodified shed with the corpses of Dr. Kliener, Eli Vance, and a Vortiguant. Also, there were only three buttons in the main menu, "Start New Game", "Load Game", and "Quit". My guess is that it was another bug. I pressed on the "Start New Game" button, and I saw that there was only two chapters. Chapter One was called "Murder", and the second chapter had the Lambda Core, so my guess was those were the credits. I started a new game.

The game started up like all the other Half-Life games, as the title said "Half-Life 2: Episode Three". After the title passed, an odd thing happened: I had all my weapons. In the games, the player would have to collect the weapons on their way through the game. But, I had all my weapons with me, along with my fully charged HEV suit. I wondered what was going on.

Then my wondering was answered. We woke up in the shed, as there were Citizens begging towards me to leave them alone. I was confused, but I decided to begin. However, the WASD keys were not working, and Gordon was moving on his own. Gordon grabbed a butcher's knife and threw it at a male citizen. The citizen immediately died as blood poured down from his head. I could've sworn I saw a chunk of his brain. Gordon grabbed the butcher's knife, and started cutting the poor dead Citizen's stomach open, as his guts were showing. Gordon then put a Grenade into the guts, and then after getting to a safe distance, the citizen exploded. The other citizens tried to get up, but Gordon pulled out a shotgun and killed them quickly. The game then started to go static, and as far as I knew, Gordon was going to cut those citizens up too, but the game went into static, and a message appeared:

"The theme of this game is: Be patient".

The game then crashed, thank god! I went to ask my friend via e-mail, but he never answered. Instead, I got a message that said that he hung himself because of Episode Three.

I asked Gabe Newell with his e-mail and he said he doesn't remember making a game like that, and he would not do that to Episode Three or any other Valve game. My guess is that my friend made a HL2 mod. I went to uninstall the mod, but it disappeared from my computer without a trace.