User blog:StrongBadHR90/Back To 2012: David Cardino

Well, it's time we go back to the dark ages of Nick Fanon. Back to when the immature people ruled over this wikia.

Introduction
David Cardino (if you don't know him) was a user on this wiki who claimed to be 16 years old, but acted like a 5 year old. Some people say he was way younger, but I believe he was 16, but with the mindset of a 7 - 11 year old.

He joined on the 24th of January 2012. With his first comment, on What is ur fav SB episode?. His comment. "My favorite Season 1 episode was Rock Bottom,my favorite Season 2 was Chocolate With Nuts,and my favorite Season 3 episode was SpongeGaurd On Duty."

The first thing you'll notice is that his typing is terribly off for a 16-year-old. And he could've just looked that up, but Chocolate With Nuts is from Season 3, so I am assuming he just didn't care and randomly guessed.

Clues
Another comment on a post about h8ing on Mondays was this gem that is pretty useful in finding out this.

 "I hate Mondays with a passion.I have to wake up,go to school,do homework,and go to bed early. Yesterday (Monday) my parents woke me up at 6 in the morning! I wake up at 7:00!"

If you were 16, you'd be at school before 7am. So I can pretty much assume that "16" stuff is bullshit.

 "Then when I got out of bed I tripped on my skateboard! Then I dropped my sweater in the bathroom!"

 Wow! What a big deal!

 "At breakfast,while I was eating my cereal and getting ready for school,my dad changed the channel while I was watching SpongeBob! 'HEY!' I yelled.'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!'"

You don't yell at somebody for changing the channel, if you were 16, you'd probably have a TV of your own, unless you hated doing chores, which this kid probably does.

 "my dad yelled.Then my mom came over and grounded me.'SHUT UP!' I yelled.Then we all got in a fight."

You don't talk to women like that (personal experience)

 "Then,when I got on the bus I said I wanted a seat by the window they gave me a middle seat.I was being scrunched n smushed! Then when I got to school my teacher gave me a lot of work to do."

Oh no! Work! My hand will fall off!

 "At gym,I got a lot of push ups,and at music my music teacher said I was singning too loud".Then at recess"

Wait a minute, he is NOT 16, that is now pure bullshit, you don't have recess in high school.

 "my friends were mean to me.First of all Ed and Bobby were saying i'm fat,Jim called me names,and Vinnie constantly said WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU to me!"

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">Well, I can see where they get that.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "So then I yelled SHUT UP to him! Then he growled at me! At lunch,I threw up and everyone started teasing me! 'Let's post that David threw up on Facebook!' said Daphne."

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">Yeah, because in elementary school, you're allowed to have phones with you.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "Then I said 'NO!'"

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">Oh you fucking deserve it.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "Then Kevin said 'when David goes away were gonna have a party!' Then I said 'stop it!' Then Kate said I was lame.After,that she said I was annoying."

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">She is right.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "Then everyone started laughing at me! So then when I yelled 'CAN IT!' they said 'GO AWAY!'"

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">You are a clown, you're a professional already!

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "Then I just stomped away.Then I heard Kevin say 'you just gotta show him whos boss' and then started laughing at me again."

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">Well, by the end of this, I'll be laughing so much I'll fucking cry.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "Then after school mom took us (me,little sister,big brother) to CVS.When we were there my little sister blew on me,which was very annoying."

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">Oh, shaddap, it's wind.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "Then I called her an idiot.Then my mom scolded at me."

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">Yeah, because that is a mother's job.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "When we left CVS the automatic door closed on my hand.In the parking lot my big brother pushed me into the mud."

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">Oh, it's mud, it's not needles, get over it.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "Then I started crying because of the mud."

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">Yeah, because crying solves damn everything.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "Then my little sister called me a baby,and then I spitted on her.Then my mom scolded at me AGAIN for being muddy and spitting on my little sister."

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">It's a mother's job!

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "Then we went to the supermarket to buy a cake.My little sister wanted a vanilla cake with pink frosting and got one.My big brother wanted a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and sprinkles.I wanted a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting and sprinkles but the man at the bakery counter said that they were all out."

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">Such a thing to get worked up about.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "He made me buy a vanila cake with vanila frosting.Tasty but boring. "

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">How can cake be boring?

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "Then we went to pick up dad.He said I couldn't play with his copy machine but I didn't listen,then I dropped the books on his desk,and then I broke his pencils and spilled the ink.The my dad rolled his eyes and punched me in the face!"

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">Good, you deserve it.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> "I had to eat spinach for dinner and there was a wedding show on TV.My shower was cold,my mom forgot to buy shampoo,my little yo yo went down the drain,and to top it off I had to go to bed early! At bedtime my blanket ripped,my favorite nightlight burned out,and I stubed my toe.My favorite pillow was in the wash.Curse you Monday,CURSE YOU!"

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> Good Mondays, terrorize David.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;"> I'm not done with this yet.