User blog:Mrs Chanandler Bong/BAGELS

[Bagel and Krazy looking in an unknown food store.]

Bagel: Freakin' disgusting. Damn shoppers selling my kind. (facing the tills) I will save my kind from your manhunting... and your...

Krazy: Their... selling of food?

Bagel: No, Krazy! Their selling of life.

Krazy: You are the only living bagel.

Bagel: Hey! They can live if they want to! But now they can't. Cos they're baked and sold for $3.99.

Krazy: Yeah, this shop is expensive.

Bagel: That's not the point!

[Bagel grabs Krazy by the neck to stop him looking at a fat-free "squid juice".]

Bagel: Come on, dude. We gotta stay on track. Stop this monstrosity.

[Krazy's still looking at squid juice.]

Bagel: Stop looking at squid juice! God, you suck.

Krazy: ...lon.

Bagel: Son of a...! This is not the time for puns, you moron. My kind is being destroyed.

''[A tiny bagel jumps up and talks with a high-pitched voice. It grows limbs and a small face on the top.]''

Tiny Bagel: Hello! I'm Hagel.

GENDER-FLIPPED

EPISODE THREE: Bagels

[Back to the Gender-Flipped house.]

Stace: Hey, you ever want some bagels?

Dude: Yeah, but damn Bagel doesn't let us have bagels. Bet he's looking at them right now.

Stace: I feel sorry for Krazy. He has to stay there with him and just hear him complain and complain and complain.

''[Dude stands up and looks in the fridge. There's only a watermelon and full-fat squid juice.]''

Dude: (sighs deeply and pauses) We should get some food.

[Back in the shop.]

Hagel: Can you stop freaking complaining? I like it here. Sure, we're gonna get eaten sometime but it's nice to hang. Us Bagels gets hots, you'd know.

Bagel: Yeah, sure I do.

Hagel: Well we get to hang out in the cold bakery section. Y'know, cools downs.

Bagel: Ah, okay, so... you like it here?

Hagel: Yes, I love it here...

''[Hagel looks down on his donut-phone and presses an unknown button. A blue laser appears and hits Bagel but he doesn't notice it.]''

Krazy: Hey, Bages, did I become taller due to the (facing camera) Fat-Free Squid Juice by Suklonian Health (facing Bagel) or are you shrinking?

''[Bagel starts shrinking. His voice becomes high-pitched while Hagel stands in a T-pose and slightly expands.]''

Bagel: Hey... what's happening?

Krazy: I don't know, man.

[They notice Hagel expanding.]

Krazy: Hey, are you using his... big... uh... bigness... to largen yourself so you won't have... uh... smallness?

Hagel: (booming voice) You fool, have you ever read a thesaurus? Don't even open your mouth. I refuse to hear the drivel that will be sprayed.

Krazy: Hey,... (stutters)

Hagel: (foresees his speech) It's not a dinosaur, you imbecile! You ignoramus!

[Hagel slaps Krazy out of the way then faces Bagel who is now Hagel's former size.]

Hagel: YOU!... You... are my main target. My main desire. You don't deserve to have that hat. And that cane.

[He slowly takes off all the body parts he mentions after he takes off the hat and cane.]

Hagel: Those legs! Those arms! A schlemiel like you does not deserve limbs! You only deserve to be eaten. The eyes can stay. I want you to see your consumption.

''[Close-up to Hagel's eyes. You don't see anything but his red, glaring eyes.]''

Hagel: Your death.

''[Hagel flies away as the shop collapses on the shopkeepers and store-goers. Breadcrumbs fall on the now miniscule and immobile Bagel, now laying on the floor. Krazy stands up and sighs.]''

GENDER-FLIPPED

New Episodes Whenever I Feel Like It

[Stace and Dude enter the shop with the watermelon from earlier.]

Stace: Hey, anyone want some melon?